Let's talk about s-e-x

The recurring theme this week is teenagers and sex. Seriously! Everywhere I go - this topic seems to come up. I'm amazed at what teenagers know and do. I'm 27 years old and these teenagers (barely...13, 14, etc) have done more than me. This week I've constantly been flabbergasted at the conversations I've heard from teenagers.

With all this talk... tonight I'm at sonic getting a blast and a soda. Two cars down I hear this man order a "Route 44 orgasm." WHAT?????? Oh my gosh! Not kidding, almost lost IT!

What is this world coming to?

I'm sure I could drag this out, but I'm tired.. :) Tomorrow's Friday - who's excited?

Man's work

Thursday night, I'm on my way home from work. I go to turn the corner... turn my blinker on and get that annoying "clink clink clink" that means that one of my bulbs is out. I text my brother and ask him if he wants to come down and change it. He brought out the middle name and told me I could do it because it wasn't that hard.

I already had a bulb because I'd bought a pack the last time a bulb went out. So... I open the trunk... and get down to business. It took me awhile, but I finally got the bulb changed. It was then that I realized that I needed a man around to do these things. :-)

It was also then that I realized that I need a Christian version of my brother. My little brother takes pretty good care of me when it comes to my car. He's changed bulbs, helped fix windows, given me advise when something's wrong... Hmmm... I wonder where I can find a man like him (other than the bar)...

Yay for having working blinkers! :-)

Cannot imagine

So, one of my little church kids came up to me yesterday, with a ball in her hand and a sad look on her face. She asked "Can you play catch with me?" I gladly said sure!

Knowing this girl's story and what her home life is like, I began to ponder. Her mom is a stay at home mom, her dad works all day. I cannot IMAGINE having the option to stay at home with my kids all day long and not want to spend time with them; puzzles, games, whatever. Not many women have that option anymore and to be with a man whose ambition is to provide for his family would be phenominal. To see the hurt in this little girl's eyes because her mom never plays with her, claiming to not have the time... Just gut wrenching.

When the girl's little brother says that when he asks for help and his mom says no... Makes me want to eat them up!

Here's to spending time with kids. Love them to pieces!

Wow...

It's been awhile since I've blogged over here. :) Life has been pretty crazy, but good. Christmas is fastly approaching. I've been dealing with some mild drama within my family (and amongst some friends), and dealing with the confusions of boys. Drama is one thing I could never figure out (I guess guys are another... hehe). When I see these drama-filled lives, I thank God for how simple my life is. I work, I do church stuff, I teach missionettes. This pretty much sums it up and I like it.

Since the last time I blogged, I had a birthday (27...yikes), went to see Garth Brooks in concert, have visited Nebraska for turkey day, and got baptized. Not in that order. I was baptized as an infant - three months old to be exact. I was baptized 3 days after I turned 27 and absolutely nothing compares to this feeling. It was truly emotional. Lying back into the pool of water, I was like "ok, here we go." As I sat up and my eyes focused the first person I see is CJ sitting in the front row. As my pastor began talking, I felt a rush of the Holy Spirit come over me and a flood of tears soon followed. Pastor asked if I would like to say a few words and with choked on words, I shook my head and said no. Wow - what a feeling.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in. Hopefully I'll blog again before Christmas. :) Hope this finds you all well.

Random Ramblings

Wow. I haven't blogged in awhile.

I cannot believe it's November. In 14 days I'll be 27. One more year closer to 30. Hokey doodle. This morning as I was driving to work viewing all the frost on the fields, it hit me. It's November. Thanksgiving is fastly approaching and there's only 3 paychecks until Christmas. Jeez. Where did this year go?! As I'm planning birthday weekend, deciding when to get my car fixed so I can trek it up to Nebraska for Christmas...

Christmas. I need to shop. What to get for who? And who has time to shop?! Here's where the internet comes in handy. Online shopping with specials on delivery... yay. My saving grace. Woohoo. :-)

Servant?

About a month or so ago, I took a test to see what my spiritual gifts were. One of my top three is Servant. I joyfully look forward to the day when Christ leads me home and says "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

So, after being a Christian since 1999, I'm getting baptized again. I was baptized as an infant, but I feel that this is an important outward thing for me to go through in my walk with Him. Yesterday, I got an email from my pastor about the baptism and he ended it by saying "Thank you for all you do... you are a wonderful servant."

This put so much joy in my heart, I can't even begin to describe. I've always had this servant attitude about me. When I was in youth group, I was always first to volunteer. When I was in college, I was often the only one in Thursday night Bible Study. Thinking about getting baptized has taken me back to my short months at Wayne State and the people there that highly impacted my walk.

My days at Wayne State were absolutely fabulous. It's here where my faith walk truly began and it holds a special place in my heart. I didn't confess it with my mouth until a month later, proclaiming Christ as the center of my life. Having told Campus Crusade sponsors this right before moving back home, one of the sponsors asked what my middle initial was. He promptly began calling me Leslie Amazing. He was dumbfounded that someone with a servant heart as mine hadn't truly been in "that place" until I had been involved in nearly every Crusade activity for weeks. *sigh* I need to go email him now.

May God truly AMAZE you with His ever sufficient love and grace, no matter the circumstances.

33 Miles

Ok, so this week CJ and I went and saw 33 Miles for like the fourth time this year. They are AMAZING! We're in the midst of worshiping and having amazing time... and the next thing I hear is BOING! I'm thinking "what is that?" and I hear it again!! I look over and the guy next to me is taking pictures with his camera phone. Now, I'm all for taking pictures and capturing the moment, goodness knows I do it, but seriously... at least turn the annoying sound off.

Back in the moment, I'm praying to God about the situations I've come to face... once again... the next sound I hear is the guy with the BOING! phone, is talking... to the people behind us... NOW, I'm annoyed. It's like talking in church! SHHHH! I glance over briefly, and it appears that he's now hugging up on his girlfriend. OH BROTHER!! Seriously. I've come here to worship, please respect others around you by pretending you're in church and shhhing and keeping the PDA to minimum. I find it cute when girlfriends/boyfriends or spouses hold hands during prayer or worship... but c'mon now. No one wants to watch you huggin up on each other in the midst of the moment.

Despite the annoyances the show was absolutely amazing and we talked with them a little afterwards and they signed my CD. WOOHOO! Then I think about the other artists we've met and how humble they are and down to earth.

Makes me want to be an indian giver... :-) haha!

9/11

Wow... six years. I can't believe it's been six years already. As I was driving to work today, I was replaying the day in my head. I wasn't working at the time, so I was sitting at home with my mom. My grandpa calls freaking out, telling my mom to turn on the news. We were probably watching some lame movie on Lifetime if I know my mom. :)

Like most people, I can remember the images on tv, the sound of Dan Rather's voice giving us updates... Many wrote songs about the event -- I think Alan Jackson said it best in "Where were you..." As my family, and many others, prepares for our loved ones to go to Iraq, my eyes tear up thinking about those who will never see their loved ones again, who lost their lives in the tragic events.

My prayer for America today is that we take some time to stop and pray for our soldiers. Retired, active, lost at war... they're giving their lives for us. They're giving the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. Thank you to all of our soldiers.

Dare to Compare

Why must we constantly be compared to others? "Why can't you be like your brother, like father like daughter, etc..." In today's society we are always being compared to someone - whether it's reality or not.

My mom has always said "You are your father's daughter..." Until lately I've always thought this to be a negative thing, and taking it how she means it. Instead of being in the bitter barn and focusing on how my dad used to be, I've finally made that decision that maybe he really is a different guy -- one that's not so bad. One that I wouldn't mind being compared to.

On the same token, wouldn't it be nice to be seen for who we REALLY are? For instance, my brothers and I are like night and day. However, they don't truly sees ME for me. My mom knows that my relationship with Christ is me, but she doesn't get it because she's not part of that. Just because you don't get it, is no reason to compare to everyone else in your world. If we were all the same, life would be boring. :)

Heard that before

Lately my blogs have been about my cynicism. So keeping with this topic (lol) why is it that guys always says "I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet" or "I'm one of a kind." Yeah, I've heard that so many times and it has yet to be true. I was perusing around on the Christian singles site that I belong to; and the very last paragraph of a profile was "I warn women "I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet." Oh right. I immediately clicked out of it.

At the beginning of my current state of confusion, I made the comment that it was "too good to be true." He didn't understand this comment until he read the book "Captivating." None the less, I think he got it, but at the same time -- I was right; once again.

Has cynicism gotten the best of me? I've always been a very trusting person, but I no longer believe what anyone says -- no matter what the topic is or who says it. My msn quote states it best for now, "All I want is for ONE guy to prove to me that they aren't all the same."

I'm just sayin.

Parental Advisory

One of my greatest pet peeves is how people talk in front of their children. There is a time and a place for behavior like this and some people have no boundaries. When you are attending an event, where little children are present... bite your tongue! Ok, you might bite it off, but maybe that will be helpful in the long run.

Some people do not get the concept that children repeat... EVERYTHING! They're not stupid by any means, but they don't know better. It's the parent's responsibility to teach children boundaries, but what if the parents don't have any either? The children go through the motions of life, confused about what's right on wrong, based on what they're taught at home.

As a person who works with children's ministries, I know some very well mannered children and I thank God for their parents and the boundaries they're teaching them. My prayer is that we can raise our children to be disciples of Christ, not a terror on wheels not knowing how the world works. Raise them to be well mannered and well behaved boys and girls, not cussing like sailors.

Princess Heart

Remember when you were younger and played dress up and called yourself a princess? Those were the days when my dad would call me princess. Now life is full of the never-ending drama, with absolutely no time to play dress up, never mind the fact that you feel nothing like a princess!!

I've just finished reading "Keeping a Princess Heart" by Nicole Johnson. It's so hard to be princess-like when your heart is closed and your attitude is cynical. Then you have the people that don't feel like princess' so they adjust their looks to get closer to the feeling -- fake nails, tanning, fake hair, ... you name it, we've done it to improve the look on the outside. Improving our looks on the outside, doesn't change what's in our hearts. A princess heart knows in her heart of hearts that the world is not a fairy tale, but the King is there and has us convinced that "all will be well."

Yes, there might be times when we're standing in a pile of quick sand, but God brought us to it and He alone can bring us through it. Might not be easy keeping that princess heart, but I'd rather struggle than pretend to have the LOOK - and be fake about it. My princess heart is hurting and aching, but God is continually molding it and shaping it...

In this book, Nicole explains that women want the ending. It's true! If you tell us to wait - we will wait - but tell us WHY. Give us a purpose to wait for and what's going to happen in the end. What happens at the end of the love story? Happily ever after... and of course ever after is never happy. The single woman feels alone because she's not married, the married woman wants the freedom... we're never satisfied in our roles.

A couple days ago I blogged about someday my prince coming... some day that prince will find this princess heart and treasure it, like the rare jewel it is.

Advice

Lately I've been thinking about the advice I've been receiving from a few people regarding my state of confusion. Do you ever look at the people giving you advice and evaluate their life? For the most part, the people giving me advice can't even get their own lives together. What makes them think I would take what they have to say and run with it?

Some say I'm wise beyond my years, but when people can't be smart and have the tiniest bit of common sense. I'm not saying I have my act all together and have a right to be giving advice, but when people (these no common sense people) ask my opinion, I've learned that sugar coating isn't the way to go. We aren't playing candyland in life. Maybe before people give advice to others, they should evaluate their own issues and dare I say, drama. :) The pot and the kettle need to get together and keep their noses out of my business. :) ... I'm just sayin.

My prayer is that God give me the strength to deal with these advice givers and the courage to stand up and say get your own act together.

Someday my prince will come

Last night I was having a conversation with my one of my friends. She's been married for just over a year and her husband takes very good care of her. We were talking about a couple of friends of ours who seem to "find" men who pay their way... thus they've had a few free vacations in the last several years. Then she asked me if I'd heard anything from my current state of confusion. My response was (jokingly), "No, but he can't buy me free vacations..."

I am not one of those women that look at how much money a man makes. Can he provide for himself? Is he going to be able to provide for our future family? These are things that I think of. During this conversation, she says, "I believe that God has a man out there that can take you on free vacations to wonderful places. He will bring you yours..."

In the book "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, a modern telling of the story of Gomer and Hosea... Michael is a man who knows that this woman is who God is sending for him. When he sees that this woman is a prostitute, he challenges God. "God, she CANNOT be the ONE." Michael did everything he could to bring Angel to him -- to convince her that they were meant to be together because God said so. He pursued her like no other man has pursued before. Michael trusted with all his heart... even when times were bad, Angel wasn't convinced and he wanted to just let her go.

I, personally, would rather have a Michael than a "mr. big checkbook." But can we have both? The man who is secure is his checkbook to provide for us AND give us the vacations we desire, but to also have his heart so lost in God, that he trusts that I was the ONE, even when he saw me at my lowest point. I pray for him daily; I pray that God will prepare my heart for this man that will one day amaze me beyond comprehension.

My prayer for us ladies today, is that God will bring you your Michael and your "mr. big checkbook" in your own package... that God will put you in the circumstance, that divine appointment, to bring you together. That this man will pursue you like no other. Prepare your hearts, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

drama, drama, drama

So, lately the word DRAMA has been filling my conversations. I, myself, have been wondering why people would want to live this way. If your life is drama-filled -- fine. It's your own thing to deal with. But why, why, WHY would you want to vent and spread this drama throughout the land? I've been dealing with some very dramatic people lately... I love you all dearly, but please. Something's gotta give!

Then you have those are so wrapped up in their own drama, they don't care about your stuff. Yes, we all have gunk. And I'm sorry -- the past couple weeks, my gunk has gotten me a little down, therefore I don't have the energy or patience level to deal with YOUR drama.

My prayer for you today is that you can pray against the attitude that the enemy is putting in us (including me) and causing us to not shine God's light of love. I also pray against the drama queens and kings, that they can keep it in their own little kingdom. :)

People in life

My current favorite CD is Building 429's new one, called Iris to Iris. Songs about standing closer than you've ever been, face to face with God, in awe at His beauty. My favorite is one called "Stand Amazed" and the chorus says, "You've got me right You want me...You've got me right where I need to be..." As I ponder these words, I think about the people that God has placed in my life. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that people, if even in your life for just a season, will teach you something and there's a reason for it. You needed to learn something from that.

Whether your experience ended in good or bad, people fade away. You can choose to take it with a grain of salt and find the lesson that God is trying to teach you through that person. A lot of people have come in and out of my life, trust me, I'm not saying it's easy. In fact, sometimes it's hard and it down right sucks.

Another song on the same CD is called "Constant." Hmm... these seem to fit. No matter who's in my life, who's coming or going; God has me in a place where I need to be. Where HE wants me: Seeking Him in all that do, no matter how people are treating me or who is in my life -- or not. He is the one thing that is a constant for me in a world of change.

My prayer for you today is that you can look in the face of God and stand amazed at His constant mercies, grace, and love.

Fathers (part 2)

Last month I wrote a blog about dads. I had mentioned some things about my own dad that at the time were very true. Last week when I was in Nebraska, I saw a totally different side of my dad; and I'm pretty sure he saw a different side of me.

My dad has always been the dad that's just existed, never really been there, so to speak. I've never been daddy's little girl. Last week as my great grandma was on her death bed, my emotional side came out. A side of me that my dad has never seen before. My dad, in this new light, was there for me. He saw the hurt and emotion in my eyes and was ready to support me like the man I've never see him be. He was there with open arms, letting me fall into them like I never have before.

The same way I've fallen into the embrace of God over the last seven years, I've finally been able to do the same with my earth father. A good feeling, there is no doubt. :)

Close to God

A couple of weeks ago I flew to Dallas. It was cloudy when we left KC, but the further south we went, I saw the magnificent view I was used to seeing when I fly. You know - those big white puffy clouds that look like cotton balls. As I often do when I fly, I began to thank God for the wonderful creation. Since, I've become fascinated with the sky... I mean, have you ever REALLY looked at it? The colors, the patterns... they're never the same. The scenes in the sky alone just amaze me.

As I'm drawn closer to God with each breathtaking moment, I am reminded in the words of Phillips, Craig, & Dean that "it's not the motions I go through..." I've always been what I call an unconventional Lutheran. Could never sit on my hands during worship, breaking away from the traditional READING of the prayers. If you go to a Lutheran church service, how many of those people sound like they believe the words of the Apostle's creed? I'm not knocking the religion or the people in it... I grew up in the church. So before you get all uptight, listen to what I'm saying...

There's another song by Point of Grace and there's a line in it that says, "Everyone's worshiping something, 'cause that's what we're made to do...I choose You." It's not the religion - it's the form of worship; the RELATIONSHIP. I'm the type that cannot worship sitting on my hands... get me a band so I can clap, bounce around, WHATEVER.

My prayer for you is this: Worship with all your heart, mind, and soul... and choose to worship YOUR way and not worry about what the world thinks of you. Show the world the light of God's love through you and how you worship. God bless!

Fathers

So today is Father's Day. I've had some pretty strong emotions today. During the sermon, Pastor Bob was talking about Godly Father's and their roles in the family. Men are to teach their children about God, take them to church, protect their family, provide... but as pastor is talking, I'm thinking of my own dad. My dad is a very different man than he was when I was little. I don't remember ever sitting next to my dad in church. Even as an adult, I can count on one hand the number of times I've sat beside him on Sunday morning. Pastor was saying one sentence that was never uttered in his house: "Are we going to church today?" This sentence was a weekly thing in my house. Until I could drive, my church attendance was relied on my aunts and grandparents.

I know some wonderful Godly father's. They are wonderful men of God, full of honesty, integrity, love, caring.. and the list continues. For some it's hard to comprehend that God loves you more than your earthly father, because their earthly fathers are so amazing. For me, I don't like being cynical or not believing what God tells me because of the let-down I've experienced when it came to my dad. Even my stepdad, who is a good father, who has taken care of us since he came into the picture, is not a Godly father. Learning about God from my dads was not an option. It was something I've learned on my own and through spiritual people as I've grown older.

As we're praying for the fathers of our church, the tears began to fall. I've never felt the love and embrace from my earthly father. I've never felt the wholeness of attending church as a family and sitting next to my dad in the pew. It is what it is. As I've said before, I've come to realize that I'm finding myself... and on this journey I'm learning many things about my family and realizing even more. As God wraps His arms around me, I find myself praying that I can find this wonderful Godly man, who will someday be a wonderful father and spiritual leader of our house, teaching our children about the Heavenly Father who loves them so much that He died for us. I know that God has this man out there for me.

My prayer for all dads today is that you are able to be holy, obedient, and trustworthy to the family that God has given you. Be that Godly man. I pray that God gives you the strength and courage to lay down your life for your family, make the sacrifices necessary to be everything that you can be, according to God's calling for your life.

Lessons in Life

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree

Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

Life is too short for long pity parties.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

You can get through anything if you stay put in today.