Sunday, June 17, 2007


So today is Father's Day. I've had some pretty strong emotions today. During the sermon, Pastor Bob was talking about Godly Father's and their roles in the family. Men are to teach their children about God, take them to church, protect their family, provide... but as pastor is talking, I'm thinking of my own dad. My dad is a very different man than he was when I was little. I don't remember ever sitting next to my dad in church. Even as an adult, I can count on one hand the number of times I've sat beside him on Sunday morning. Pastor was saying one sentence that was never uttered in his house: "Are we going to church today?" This sentence was a weekly thing in my house. Until I could drive, my church attendance was relied on my aunts and grandparents.

I know some wonderful Godly father's. They are wonderful men of God, full of honesty, integrity, love, caring.. and the list continues. For some it's hard to comprehend that God loves you more than your earthly father, because their earthly fathers are so amazing. For me, I don't like being cynical or not believing what God tells me because of the let-down I've experienced when it came to my dad. Even my stepdad, who is a good father, who has taken care of us since he came into the picture, is not a Godly father. Learning about God from my dads was not an option. It was something I've learned on my own and through spiritual people as I've grown older.

As we're praying for the fathers of our church, the tears began to fall. I've never felt the love and embrace from my earthly father. I've never felt the wholeness of attending church as a family and sitting next to my dad in the pew. It is what it is. As I've said before, I've come to realize that I'm finding myself... and on this journey I'm learning many things about my family and realizing even more. As God wraps His arms around me, I find myself praying that I can find this wonderful Godly man, who will someday be a wonderful father and spiritual leader of our house, teaching our children about the Heavenly Father who loves them so much that He died for us. I know that God has this man out there for me.

My prayer for all dads today is that you are able to be holy, obedient, and trustworthy to the family that God has given you. Be that Godly man. I pray that God gives you the strength and courage to lay down your life for your family, make the sacrifices necessary to be everything that you can be, according to God's calling for your life.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Lessons in Life

Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree

Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

Life is too short for long pity parties.

When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it.

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

Friday, June 08, 2007

I'm just not

For the last week or so I've been pondering my trip to Nebraska. As some of you know, it was an interesting trip for me. I'm not at the same place I was 8 months ago when I moved to Kansas City. I've grown so much as a person, spiritually, emotionally, etc., so I'm not in the same world that they are. I found this song that pretty much sums it up.

Brandon Heath – I’m Not Who I Was
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was

You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was