Break Away

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But, when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But, I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane, far away
And break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But, gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But, I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Courage and strength

So... I have a dilema. Well, not so much a dilema. I've had this talk with several people, so I decided to write a blog. So, I basically need to stop being a chicken, and tell my parents that I'm moving in two months. It has been suggested to stop with my car packed and just tell them. Sounds good to me!!

The past two Sundays I have gone to my parent's house with every intent on telling them. It's a 45 minute drive from my house to my parent's. In those 45 minutes I have prayed for hard for God to lead my words and to give me strength. So far, He's not wanting me to say anything. Not sure what He's plan is in that.

As I've discussed with many of you before - it's so hard to tell people that you feel led to do something, when they have never had that feeling. My mom (whose reaction I fear the most) has lived in Nebraska forever; working and raising children. I would love to work and raise children - I just don't see myself doing it in Nebraska. Who's not to say that I won't come back in 10 years... who cares? Just the chance to spread my wings and experience something new!!

I have been looking up verses about courage. Lately, I feel so cowardly and unable to express what I'm thinking with them. Deuteronomy 31:6 says to "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." I know. He's always there. I know this. The question is, where is this strength and courage that I need?? I can't do this without Him. Please pray in the coming weeks (sooner rather than later), that I will be able to have this talk, express that God is leading me, and that I'm taking a leap of faith and trusting that He will provide, no matter where I go.

I love you guys! Have an awesome week, everyone!

Addictions

Ok. I admit it. I have a new addiction...

Fountain pop has to be the best thing ever! Not only do you get more, but it is so much cheaper than bottles or cans. AND it tastes better too! It's just so much more... refreshing than pop in a bottle or a can. The store I go to even has styrofoam cups, so you don't have the ice melting all over your desk. I sound like a walking advertisement for the stuff. This is what working 12 hour days has led me to... blogging about my addiction to fountain pop. Someone help me.

I've just come to the conclusion, that thus far, this is the best thing to be addicted to. Other addictions are bad for you (yes, like pop is so wonderful for you), but they cost a lot too. So for now... I'll stick with this one.

Today's events

So... I had what you might call a bad day at the office. That's putting it a mildly, but it was quite the experience. To make a long story short - a guy pulled a gun on some students in front of the school where I work. The whole thing escalated into a three hour chase, standoff, lockdowns of all the schools in the area, and finally an arrest was made.

Three hours later, I'm attempting to work and answer the phone like everything is back to normal. In reality I'm shaking like a leaf and scared to the bones. In the five years that I've worked in this building, there have been a few scary moments, but nothing like this.

I got to thinking about it later. The situation itself. Many thoughts raced through my head. People I expected to give, not sympathy... but at least a loving 'are you ok?"... did not give it. Those who I least expected, called me in the middle of the ordeal - knowing they were calling to check on me or at least see what was going on.

The whole events of the day are a blur... and now apparently we're having counseling sessions. Maybe it's a bad thing that I'm not all emotional over the days events. I didn't cry. I slept fine, even that night. Not sure what's going on here... maybe I'll let you know after my first session.

Just amazing

As I pondered this blog in my head over the past four days, I was basking in the wonders of God's creation. I was headed to the mountains of Colorado with two of my friends. It had been a stressful month for at least two of us, so things could be interesting!

As I've mentioned, I have a thing for water scenes. During our exploration of Colorado Springs, we drove up a mountain and in the middle was a waterfall. It wasn't the most amazing waterfall I'd ever seen, but just seeing it put me in a "mood." I sat there, feeling the water from the fall, closed my eyes and thanked God for creating such a scene.... and the three hundred other beautiful scenes I saw this weekend. I've been to Colorado before, but never viewed it the way I did this time.

Matthew 17:20 says, "...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Oh right! I would like to think my faith is at least as big as a mustard seed, but I'm not sure about that whole moving mountains thing. During this trip, we drove up Pikes Peak... at an elevation of 14,000 feet, above the clouds, I was standing on this mountain and I certainly did not feel as if I could move it. I felt as if every gorgeous scene I saw, I could just weep. God is way too good to us. Giving us everything we don't deserve - I know I surely don't what He has given me.

The point is that He did give them to me. He's there watching me get teary over the things He has created. He's there watching me as I'm thanking Him for the first time for creating what He did. He's there watching me having the most "God moments" in four days then I've had all year... and for that, I'm truly grateful. There's no one better to share it with than Him.