Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Now I lay me down to sleep...

Today, I had a little breakdown with God. Listening to K-Love on the way home, I began worshiping and praying. When was the last time you prayed like a child? By that I mean... literally kneeling and praying innocently for everyone else but yourself? I couldn't tell you the last time I prayed like that. Lately, I've been feeling a tad guilty about my prayer requests that I make known to God. I believe He knows our hearts, so we might as well ask, right?

My breakdown was about my prayers. The things I ask for, but never getting anywhere. God's probably telling me to wait and be patient, but I'm not listening like normal. My breakdown was about the life I lead - and am I really being Christ-like? I think I'm a faithful servant. I hope I am. Am I good steward? Most certainly not. I wish I could give people even HALF the grace that Christ gives us. Of course I sin, and I ask forgiveness. Being the human I am, I always take it back. I give Christ my life, everything... and always take it back.

I sat in my driveway, crying, pouring my heart out to Him, apologizing for the things I do and the things I don't, but should. Trying not to make deals with Him, because that's not how He works.

Maybe tonight, I'll try praying like a child. Tomorrow, I want my faith to be like that of a child. I want to be on fire for my relationship with God, making a difference in His kingdom.

1 comment:

KC Mom said...

You are such a sweetie. We are told in the scriptures to be as a little child and that's exactly what you are saying to do. Thanks for the reminder. Have a great day.