Me and My Jealousy

Today I taught my church kids THE hardest lesson I've ever had to teach. In theory it shouldn't have been that hard, but it's something I've been struggling with A LOT lately.

Typically I don't like airing my dirty laundry, but sometimes I think it's important to share struggles. I've been going through some things in my heart lately, including going through some 'coaching' with my pastor's wife. She's trying to help me be more transparent when it comes to needing prayer, asking for help... it's not a sign you're weak. I'm an emotional person, but I don't ask for prayer a lot in public forums (i.e. church or Bible study). However, I digress...


This morning my lesson was about Cain and Abel - how God preferred Cain's sacrifice over Abel's. In a jealous rage, Cain killed Abel, but then asked God to take pity on him so that people wouldn't kill him if they saw him. I took it to being jealous over what other people have (i.e. an xbox that you want REALLY badly). I'm at a time in my life where everyone is engaged, getting married, having babies, multiple babies, etc. I want that, plain and simple.

Psalm 37:4 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." I feel like I take delight in Him, but have yet to receive these desires. There are things that I'm fully aware - like God hasn't given them to me because I'm not ready. God is preparing the way, for me and for whomever I end up with. The way I presented it to the kids was, God wants to make sure you can handle what you're given. HE wants YOU to treat it with respect and handle with care.


Praying without ceasing, casting my cares upon Him...