The Fake Out

I've been going through my other blogs.. This one's posted from May 6, 2008.


Last weekend me and the girls are at the coffee house listening to CJ's brother-in-law sing. At one point, he says, "This is Kevin... he's single for all you ladies that are looking." After the show, we're all standing around talking, when we notice that Kevin has a ring on his ring finger. He said it was his fake out ring.

Wow. I so need one of those! Have you ever noticed that when there's even a chance that you might be taken, the guys flock to you and appear out of no where? Hmmm...

How often do we use the "fake out"? Whether it's the marrieds not wearing a ring or the singles wearing them... When you think of it, really, what's the purpose of the fake out? You bet your bottom, when I get married I'm gonna have a big ole fat rock that blings and shouts "HEY, I'M MARRIED!!!" I understand some people don't because of their jobs or whatever... my parents haven't worn wedding rings for 15 years. I know it's just a symbol, but to me it's an outward symbol of your love and the promise that you've made to this other person. I posted the following blog a long time ago, but felt it made sense here too...

I can't believe how something as sacred as marriage, has turned into this "thing" that people just "do"... like they woke up one morning and just decided they were going to get married.

Having been single, literally forever, I've often pondered how wonderful it will be to stand next to the man God has for me, celebrating the many milestones of life. Four years ago my family celebrated the 50th wedding anniversary of my grandparents. This day was so amazing! My family together, leaving behind all disagreements, all arguments... for these two people, who in a span of 50 years, had 14 children, countless grandchildren, and of course, many trials and tribulations that come with it. I look at them sometimes and wonder what they talk about, but then realize that God has put them here for a reason, together, in this moment.

Then you see the couple who has been married for 20 years, three kids, and the wife has recently been informed that her husband has been having an affair for the last year. Being single, it's hard to trust that God will bring us someone that we're compatible with. It's even harder trusting God that we can actually trust this person; for the rest of our lives.

After all the thinking about marriage and weddings, I got to thinking about my relationship with God. Marriage vows hardly seem worth anything to some people anymore, but sometimes that's how I feel about my relationship with Him. I've made these vows... these wonderful vows, to serve, to praise, to worship Him... but am I doing that? How am I holding to my end of the vows? God is always faithful. He will never break His vows - always there to protect us, to guide us. He never said it would be easy, He said we would never be alone. Which is true, but we need to keep our end of the vows too. Before I can truly long for the one person that God has planned for me, I need to concentrate on keeping my vows to Him and truly have that relationship with Him... not just a "thing" that I decided to "do" one day just because...

You can't fake out God's love or what He has in store.

Moments

There's a quote that says, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away." I love this quote. I live my laugh by moments and measure time by events. Right now time is whipping by until I leave for Haiti on April 3. Between now and then I have three K-Love events, a missionettes sleepover (at our house), a fundraiser dinner, and "the random group" is going to the Jazz Museum & the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum.

April brings our trip, Easter, the David Cook concert (which of course I'm SO looking forward to), and.. the start of baseball season!! :) I'll also be spending the last weekend of April in Nebraska for one of my cousins confirmation.

February has been good in retrospect. I've had a couple of K-Love events, a concert (that we actually paid to attend - lol), and some other events. I'm definitely looking forward to spring, because today I'm mildly annoyed that we were to go to Wichita and it felt the need to snow 4 inches. Bah! :)

Oh well - time to make snow angels! Have a good Saturday.

Picture of the week

I love taking pictures of old buildings, especially churches. This is one in Emporia, Kansas. One of these I'm going to get a cute picture of the church I see every day on my way to work. It's a cute little country church, that's just very quaint.

Save the date

I hate anniversaries. Especially anniversaries of losing someone. Whether it be a boy who broke your heart or your favorite grandma. This week marks the one year of my grandma's passing. I hadn't thought of it much in awhile. I was supposed to work a K-Love event this weekend and it dawned on me... I was supposed to work the same event last year, but ended up not. As soon as I made this realization, I became ho hum. Not in a depressed sort of way, but in a... "I miss her" sort of way.

How long does it take for grieving to end? In the last couple of years I've wondered how to go through the motions to get to the end. Not sure that ever happens, but I'll manage. I always do.

Who's glad it's Friday?! :)

My Birthday Calculator

Meg did this one today, so I thought I'd try it out. You can do yours here.

Your date of conception was on or about 23 February 1980 which was a Saturday.

You were born on a Saturday
under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 8.

Your fortune cookie reads:
If you continually give, you will continually have.

The golden number for 1980 is 5.
The epact number for 1980 is 13.
The year 1980 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/16/1980 and ending 2/4/1981.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Monkey.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Snake; your plant is Thistle.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1980.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 6 April 1980.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 20 February 1980.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 25 May 1980.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 1 June 1980.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 11 September 1980.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 1 April 1980.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 19 February 1980.

You are 28 years old.
You are 339 months old.
You are 1,476 weeks old.
You are 10,329 days old.
You are 247,916 hours old.
You are 14,874,981 minutes old.
You are 892,498,869 seconds old.

Your lucky day is Tuesday.
Your lucky number is 9 & 11.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mars & Pluto.
Your lucky dates are 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th.
Your opposition sign is Taurus.
Your opposition number(s) is 6.

Today is one of your lucky days!

There are 263 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 29 candles.

Your birth tree is

Chestnut Tree, the Honesty

Of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritable and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self-confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

Titus 2 Tuesday!

I've seen a couple of people do this post, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. See the original post HERE!

What have learned from another woman this week? (or ever)

For my first Titus 2 Tuesday post, it was hard for me to think of someone. There are so many women in my life that have influenced me one way or another. I'm going to share a bit about my friend, CJ.

I moved in with CJ when I moved to Kansas. We met online and instantly became friends. One of the things that people don't understand is that she's the same age as my mom! She has been a great influence on my life because she's always there when I need her. Whether it's having a crisis at work or needing a shoulder to cry on - gosh knows she's seen me cry a time or two!

I assist her with a lot of stuff in children's ministries -- she's the Children's Ministries Director at our church. She was there when I was baptized for the second time... she was there to drive me to Nebraska when my great grandma passed away... and she's been there through the stupid boys...

She is "miss fix it." If we have a friend in need, she always wants to run and fix things. A year or so ago, one of our friends had surgery. We went to Iowa (three hour drive) two weekends in a row to visit her in the hospital and to clean her house, etc. It's one of the things I love about her, but I'm also trying to teach her that she can't fix it all.

CJ and I met on a singles dating site (which adds more humor to our friendship). We met in the chat room; she had been there for a few months before I joined. I don't even remember how the conversations got started. Before I knew it, I was going to San Antonio with her to meet more internet people. How crazy!! :) Here we are four years later and getting ready to embarq on so many new adventures. Here are some pics. :-)

On vacation in Colorado

The Oz Museum in Wamego, KS

Fresh Brewed Monday

I watched this video of Nicole Johnson's called "Just a Touch of Faith." She talks about her move from Nashville to California. She had a piece of stained glass in the moving truck. At the end of the trip, it was on the bottom of the truck, in pieces. A year later one of her friends gave her a Christmas present that was stained glass... reassembled from the broken piece.

One of my favorite verses is Hebrews 11:1, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." The last couple weeks, we've been trying to teach our church kids about faith, and how things that you can't see help make things work (i.e. electronics, etc).

On K-Love they have these little radio spots with different artists. The one with Michael W. Smith got my attention the other day. It was something to the affect of "No matter who you are or where you've been, everyone can come to the cross." I love that! It doesn't matter your circumstance, God can take it.

10 reasons

With what I do in ministry and if you see me in public, I make it pretty well known that I definitely want to have kids. So here are my top 10 reasons - in no particular order.

1. Their smiles and laughter
2. Baby powder smells
3. Their stories as they get older - they're always so matter of fact!
4. Hugs & kisses
5. Cute little clothes
6. When they hold your finger with all their might
7. Playing with them on the playground
8. An excuse to watch cartoons! :)
9. Having them fall asleep on you.
10. Cuddling when they're sick.

Me & Tyler at VBS

Friends & Haiti update

I love lazy Saturdays. This week I've been fighting a cold, so today I stayed in bed and watched the entire first season of Friends. I love it!! I laugh every single time, no matter how many times I see an episode. As I sit here at 12:30 am, I'm attempting to finish up some church announcements for tomorrow. I've been reading some stories about the awesomeness of God today. He never ceases to amaze me in his faithfulness.

I was reading the blog of the Hands and Feet Project, the orphanage that we'll be working at in Haiti. They just got a new little girl, 3 years old, whose mother gave her up because all 9 of her siblings have died from malnutrition or disease. I can't wait to meet these precious little kids in a little over a month. I can't believe how fast it's coming up... 39 days. Wow. We haven't gotten our passports yet. Probably some time this week I'm thinking. I have an appointment on Friday to get my last shot, then I have my prescription filled for pills. It's all coming together... including raising support. One of the hardest things I've had to do is ask for this money. I remember at the very beginning praying to God that people would be generous, that He would open their hearts, and help people understand.

I'm glad and proud to say that all of my support has been raised, including my "extra spending" money. On March 27th, we're having a fundraiser dinner. The week before we leave. A tad late, BUT I'm hoping that maybe we can at least replenish what we had to spend out of our own pockets. Which isn't the way to really think about it, but God is faithful. If we're meant to, we will. If not, then so be it; we've helped a good cause.

Not sure what these updates will bring in the next month; we'll have to see. I ask that you continue to pray for me and the other 8 people in our group. I've gotten a lot of people saying they were sorry they couldn't contribute monetarily. I'm not sorry because God has taken care of the money. God will continue to take care of our travels and our safety, but please continue to pray as we enter this unstable country.

God bless - may you have a wonderful time of worship tomorrow!

Picture of the week

Being an ambassador for K-Love, I've had some opportunities to meet some bands. The ones I've met are wonderful and so down to earth! I couldn't decide which pic to choose this week.. so I picked two! Hey, it's my blog, I can do what I want! :)

Me and Michael from Above the Golden State

Me and CJ with Building 429

Award

Meg at The Buzz gave me the "Love ya" award today, my first award here in blog-world. Meg is one the greatest friends I've come to know. I love reading her randomness, yet she sneaks in her thoughtfulness and tender heart.


Here are the rules: “These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

1. Lora at Take Me The Way I Am

2. Megan at INfertile Myrtle

3. Angie at Bring the Rain

4. Cathy at Playing with Photography

5. Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee

6. Adrienne at Our Journey of Love

7. Mama Kat at Mama's Losin It

8. Yo at The Adventures of an East Coast Chick Turned Midwest Mom

100!

Wow, this is my 100th post. I thought for my 100th that I wanted to post something like my favorite things - not necessarily materialistic. It had to be something big!! I worked on it and worked on it, seemed to get no where. However, tonight at Youth, Dr. Sondra (our Pastor's wife) preached. Needless to say, I got a little something from it, and it kind of tugged at my heart strings.

Bear with me here as you do this along with me. Get a piece of paper, and on one side trace your hand. Write your name in the 'palm,' and along the fingers write 5 things that you are good at and/or that you like about yourself.

Now, what she had us do was on the other side of the paper, trace both hands. Then we went around the room and OTHER people had to write good things about us. Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." God has planned our purpose - in ADVANCE! Just like Moses, God has called us by name and given us a mission, a purpose. Moses' response was "Who am I?"

Who are we? We are God's ART. His creation to fulfill His plan. God says, "What is that in your hand?" Meaning God has given us the tools and equipment we need. We just need to trust Him and His perfect will. What's in our hand? The talents and gifts that God has given us. It's not always easy to recognize these gifts because maybe they come so easily that we don't look at them as gifts. Or maybe we don't like admitting to ourselves that we can be good at something.

It's hard to compliment yourself. It might be even harder to receive compliments given by others. All day we are spit on verbally, possibly verbally abused by those who put us down. Even if we are given a compliment, we won't remember it, because all the bad outweighs the good. Have you been told that you're loved today? That you're powerful? Never doubt your worth, because the Almighty God, who has a plan and a purpose, LOVES you.

And if you haven't been given any other compliments today...

You look beautiful. :)

Fresh Brewed Monday

This one gets me every time. Whether you've known someone or it's you... be prepared to cry. It's "Stepping Into the Ring" by Nicole Johnson.

Visit her website HERE! I love it!

Love Songs

I'm not going to lie. I'm a pretty big sap. I love the way things (i.e. photography and music) tells a love story. Whether it's the love between a person and God, between a father and a daughter, or a man and a woman. Feelings get to me. On this evening of Valentine's Day... when all the couples are out having dinner, etc., I'm in watching movies... and creating a playlist of my favorite love songs of all time. A bit of why I picked a couple of the songs:

Feels Like Home - On the "How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days"... the more I listen to it, the more I "get" it. It describes how I hope to feel one day. :)

Cinderella - A beautiful story between a father and a daughter. Having to have worked at a relationship with my father for the last 28 years, this song gets me every time. I don't regret how God planned things because it has helped me to grow. I am glad things happened the way they did, and the reason my dad and I grew closer. It's a journey that I'm glad to be given the opportunity to take...

Enjoy! :)

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Today has been less than productive, since I woke up at 10:30. :) I blogged the other day about showing the love. Our plans fell through when something came up. The day turned out to be just another Saturday with errands and cleaning.

How did you all show some love today? I did call my mom and siblings, talked to some friends... wishing them all a happy valentine's. Weird thing about this valentine's day -- I received a delivery of flowers yesterday at work. With a card, not signed. No name, no nothing. Still trying to solve the mystery of the flowers. lol I love them, they're beautiful, but I'm just annoyed that no one has fessed up!!! :)

I wish you all a great evening and a wonderful time of worship tomorrow!

Picture of the week

Last Sunday I became an "official" member of my church. I was baptized there a year ago, I'm very active in serving, so I thought.. why not? :)

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend (3 days for some of us)!!

Soundtrack of my life

I stole this idea from Meg. Its the "Soundtrack to you Life"!
How to Play:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question below, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool …

Here are mine:

Opening Credits:
Feels Like Home

First Day At School:
Lullaby - Josh Groban

Falling In Love:
You Are Beautiful My Sweet Sweet Song - Third Day

Breaking Up:
Somebody - Reba

Prom:
I Cross My Heart - George Strait

Mental Breakdown:
Who Says You Can't Go Home - Sugarland & Bon Jovi

Flashbacks:
The Best Day - George Strait

Getting Back Together:
Would You Go With Me - Josh Turner

Wedding Scene:
You Found Me - The Fray

Final Battle:
Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone) - Chris Tomlin

Death Scene:
Adore You - Andy Chrisman

Funeral Song:
Good People - Audio Adrenaline

End Credits:
More - Matthew West

Finale:
Unforgettable - Nat & Natalie Cole

Showing the LOVE

Yesterday on K-Love, I heard one of their radio spots talking about Valentine's Day -- in a more traditional sense of the word. It's more about showing love for others, not just goo-goo, mushy gushy stuff to your significant other. The commercialized version of the holiday forces people to others that they love them. Why do we have to have a specific day for that? Can we not do it all the time?

This weekend CJ and I are going to be showing some love in a traditional sense. We've decided to trek down to Oklahoma to visit one of our Pastor friends. He's been having a rough go of it, so we're surprising him with neccessary items that he might be having trouble buying. Along with this we'll get great fellowship and visit another church... maybe actually hear a sermon! :)

What beter way to spread the love than by doing a good deed for those you care about? How will you spread the love this weekend?

Fresh Brewed Monday

"The Invisible Woman" is one of the greatest skits of Nicole's. She says what every woman is thinking... and puts it in God's perspective.

Fundraising Continued...

CJ made these cute candy arrangements that we sold this morning in church. I'm posting pics and prices... if you'd like to order one (or two!) we'd be happy to ship it in time for Valentine's Day! Can't hurt to try right? These pictures don't do them justice, they're so cute!

All proceeds go to our missions trip to Haiti in April.

Boxes - $5.00

Small dish - $3.00

Coffee Mugs - $5.00

Heart shaped candy dish - $6.00

Valentine Glasses - $5.00

Thin vases - $4.00



Goblet glasses - $5.00

Not pictured: We also have plastic cups (great for kids!) that are $3.00 and decorative flower pots that are $8.00. Like I said if you want to place an order - email me what you'd like and your address so I can ship ASAP. Thanks!

Dialog in the Dark

Today I went with some friends to experience "Dialog in the Dark." It was rather interesting and I have a few thoughts on the exhibit. Your group is taken around by a guide, who is visually impaired. You go through simulation scenes with a walking stick, experiencing "daily life" as if you're blind. My favorite scene was the market. You walk around the counter and smell fruit, soap, coffee beans, etc. We also went around a 'park', on a 'boat', and on a 'city street.' The city street scared me the most because I didn't have the wall to hang on to! I was basically in the middle of this room scared that our guide was going to leave me!

It was very scary to be walking around in the dark. First of all.. I hate the dark... and I've seen one too many scary movies that I constantly think something's going to jump out and grab me. Nothing did of course, but I hate that feeling!

I cannot imagine how it would be to have perfectly good use of all of your senses and then to suddenly lose one and have to adapt accordingly. Take my friend Crystal for instance: in high school Crystal ran track, was a cheerleader, etc. After her senior year she was in a car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down. She uses a wheelchair for every mobility, but she gets around. She is seriously the most amazing person I have ever met in my life.

Another thing I use to compare a lot to lately is that kleenex commercial with the mom, where she's going around "touch" "touch" "touch" ... then she touches the kleenex and says "feel." It made me appreciate the feelings of seeing the world around me. There's so much I take for granted that I definitely need to thank God for!!

Have a wonderful Sunday, everyone!

Cheese!

Meg did this thing tonight and I kind of dig it. So.. here it goes. One thing that can always get me to smile, are my church kids. This is a picture of Tyler, my 6 year old boyfriend. I absolutely love him to pieces. He's so smart and always manages to capture my heart.

Is there something that always makes you smile no matter what? Write it in your blog and post a picture. :)

Randoms

I've done a couple of these on facebook... so I thought I'd post some randoms here for the world to see. :)


1. I named my youngest brother -- Dylan Travis
2. My nails are never long.
3. I hate feet
4. but love pedicures
5. I was baptized for the second time when I was 27
6. I have 3 piercings in each ear
7. I did have my cartilage pierced, but it closed
8. Would love to re-pierce it.
9. I love reese's peanut butter cups
10. I volunteer for K-Love Radio as an ambassador -- I love it!
11. I guard my siblings with my life.
12. I hate camping
13. I have visited Texas every year for the last three years and am again this year.
14. I love to blog
15. I love reading random blogs -- usually I get them from Meg
16. I can't wait to use my new purple luggage that I got for Christmas. :)
17. Last Christmas I received the best present ever from my brother & his girlfriend
18.I love sitcoms
19. I hate horror movies
20. I dislike Oprah
21. I love taking pictures
22. even when they don't turn out good
23. I have a gift of sarcasm
24. I love eating at mom & pop shop places that I can't eat at anywhere else.
25. I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska.
26. I used to want to be an English teacher.
27. I hate shopping
28. I love going to the dentist.
29. When I was in high school I worked at a Fitness Center.
30. In kindergarten I had 7 stitches in my chin.
31. I say I hated Times Square, but I would like to go back to New York and do more
32. I love chocolate almond ice cream from Braum's
33. I would love to visit Europe.
34. I can't wait to get married and have kids.
35. My favorite Christian songs are Blessed Assurance and How Great Thou Art
36. I LOVE mexican food!
37. I plan to visit all of the major league baseball fields
38. I'm a big worrier!
39. I would love to learn to play the piano
40. I often miss the kitty I had when I lived in Lincoln. :(

Confessions of a chunky monkey

I often talk about the support and encouragement that I enjoy getting from my friends and family. This journey of making life changes is hard, it's tough to kick habits. I take the constructive criticism with a grain of salt. Here is a list of things that I don't like hearing (in no particular order):

1. How much weight have you lost? -- If you can't tell, don't ask. It's like asking a woman when she's due and she's not pregnant!
2. Why aren't you losing any weight? -- Coming more often then not, from my mother.
3. I hate going to dinner and movies alone.
4. I feel like everyone's staring at me at said #3. I know they aren't, but it feels like it.
5. Have you tried.... ? I'm not looking for a quick fix, pill, or surgery for me to lose weight.


Things I don't mind hearing because I know it's a push to help me:

1. How are you doing on your water? Sometimes I'm a rockstar at the water... sometimes not so much.
2. Did you work out today? This week the answer has been no, but I think I'm going to join another gym that will allow me 24 hr access. This means that I can work out at 8 or 8:30 pm if I have to.
3. Dear Diary...... "Well... that's probably not the best decision you made..."
4. I know you can do it. -- It's glad to hear that some people have faith in me when I don't have faith in myself.

Haiti

I'm going to try and start a pattern with updates, so here it goes for this week:

Last week I got two shots. I hate shots, but all is well. :) Two down, one more to go. I lucked out
because one of the Hepatitis series' I already had... so whew! I also have my prescription for milaria (doesn't that sound exciting?), so I'll be taking those a week before we leave.

The first payments were due this past weekend, so we got those paid. We'll have one more payment of $300 or so due by the first week of March. Our plane tickets will be purchased by the end of this week. For those of you catching up -- we'll fly from KC to Miami, stay the night in Miami and very early the next morning leave for Port-Au-Prince. From there we'll fly to Jacmel and then drive up the mountain to the orphanage.

CJ and I are going to turn in all of our passport stuff this weekend, so hopefully we'll have those in 3 weeks. It's approaching fast, but there's still so much more to do. We still have to shop for all the items on our "to take" list... other than clothes and the 'normal' stuff, we have a supply list so we can make it through the beach. Of course a load of batteries is on my list. lol

Please continue praying. We still have more support to raise and April is approaching fast. Thank you so much for your continued encouragement and support.

~God Bless!~